lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
