I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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