So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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