I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
