SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
