My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
