I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
