Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish i was in the wii world.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
