Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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