You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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