Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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