Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize