I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
