she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
