Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
