She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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