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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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