im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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