Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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