Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
