Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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