She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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