Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
