Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
