It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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