I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
