I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
