I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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