Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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