You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
