ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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