Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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