i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
