I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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