I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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