That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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