I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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