guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
