Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
