It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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