he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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