If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
