Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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