i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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