Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
