he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
