i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
