I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
