The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
