I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize