stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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