I have demons in me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
