He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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