I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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