I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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