you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize