meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
