He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
