the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize