I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
