put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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