Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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