we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
