i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
