He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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