So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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