Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize