hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
